Originally posted on https://socialifestylemag.com/2019/05/how-to-stop-anger-from-ruining-your-life/

We’re all a ball of emotions, trapped inside a body. Thankfully, most people have their emotions in some sort of order; there’s no single emotion that overrides the others. The right emotions come out at the right time. Then there are the others, who have one of their emotions come out more readily. It’s bad if this is sadness, but worse still if it’s anger. You can’t enjoy yourself, and you hurt other people in the process. However, while you’ll never be able to fully silence the anger (you’re human after all), there are ways you can limit its effect. We take a look at some tried and tested methods below.

Understand That You’re Angry

You’re not going to be motivated to change if you can’t see that anything’s wrong. If someone (or multiple people) tells you that you have an anger problem, then take on board what they’re saying. You’ll be in a much better position to change if you accept your situation, rather than dismiss it as a wrong assessment. At some point, you need to listen to others.

Find the Cause (For a Bit)

Sometimes we’re angry for obvious reasons. That doesn’t always make it justified, but at least there’s a cause (‘X happened, therefore I’m angry’). Sometimes though, it seems like there isn’t an obvious cause — you’ve seriously overreacted. Things don’t just happen, though. If you’re getting angry, perhaps there’s something going on under the hood that’s causing you to be angry. It’s worth exploring the areas of your life that you’re dissatisfied with. But only for a bit — you could look for a lifetime and sometimes never get an answer, so don’t make it your mission to find which deep-rooted issue is causing you trouble. In some cases, you will pick up the message and cause pretty quickly, however.

Learning to Relax

If we’re feeling as calm and relaxed as possible, then there’ll be a nice and sturdy barrier between our feelings and our reactions. You might feel a small wave of anger come over you, but if you’re as relaxed as you can be, then it might just be a small flicker of rage, rather than a storm. Now, it goes without saying that “just relax” is about the worst advice you can give someone. It doesn’t work that way! Thankfully, we do know some tried and tested methods for making ourselves more calm and relaxed. There are hypnosis downloads that relate specifically to anger, which will help reduce your anger levels and teach you anger management meditation techniques. You may also find some use in practicing yoga, which will leave your body feeling in a blissed out state afterward — anger will be the furthest thing from your mind.

Run It Out

When we get filled with rage, we’re looking for a way – any way – to get the feelings out of us. That’s why we feel so good after we’ve given the nearest person next to us an earful of abuse. All the rage has been expressed! But you’ll quickly find that transferring your pain onto another person isn’t an effective way of dealing with your anger. You’ll just push the people nearest and dearest to you away. It is not an appropriate way to act. So instead of shouting at people, look at expressing your anger another way. Exercise is a brilliant way to release the energy. Next time you feel your anger levels rising, look at going for a long run. Or, even better, take up boxing (with a punching bag); it might just provide a satisfying release for your anger.

Do Fun Activities

It’s worthwhile looking at how you spend your time. Are you always in situations that could produce feelings of anger? How often are you doing things that could be considered fun? If you’ve not been getting enough joy in your life, then those feelings of happiness won’t be as pronounced as you’d like them to be. Life can be pretty jam-packed with obligations, but there’s always time to put down our responsibilities and have some childlike fun, whether that be playing games with our friends, dancing the night away, or, yes we’ll say it, swinging on the swingset.

Refocus The Energy

Have you ever listened to some angry rock music, and wondered “wow, that person must be tough to be around.” It sounds logical, but it’s rarely true. Rock stars are some of the more blissed out people on earth because they’ve managed to channel their anger into something productive: their music. If you’re looking for a way to release your anger, then look at making music, art, or writing. It’s a cathartic experience, putting your anger issues into a work of art. And it might end up doing more than just helping you, too — you could find that other people find solace in your creations, too.

Avoid the Anger Inducers

It’s unlikely that everything makes you angry. There’ll just be certain things that whip up those feelings. Once you identify what they are, you’ll be in a good position to block them out of your life. If, say, going shopping downtown on a Saturday afternoon (when all the crowds are there), then stop going there on Saturday afternoons. Put yourself in the places and situations that lead to good things, not negative emotions. It’ll make keeping those feelings of anger at bay much more straightforward.

Sympathetic to Others

You’ll be much more inclined to manage your anger if you can see it through the perspective of others. You might enjoy being cruel to others because of the release it gives you, but let’s keep in mind that all you’ve done is make another person feel worse about themselves. If you haven’t yet quite found the motivation to improve yourself, then learn the art of sympathy. You’re going to have to an effect on other people whether you like it or not. It’s up to you to decide whether it’s going to be a positive or negative influence.