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Originally Posted On: https://www.jbarkers.co.uk/top-5-tips-for-a-good-divorce/

Top 5 tips for a Good Divorce

This week is Resolution’s Good Divorce Week, which runs from Monday 29 November 2021 to Friday 3 December 2021.
This year, the theme and focus of Good Divorce Week is about how parents can embrace a child focused approach to separation.

Is there such a thing as a “Good Divorce”?

We asked Partner Solicitor, Adrian Coggon at Johns Barkers Solicitors who has over 20 years’ experience in Family Law, and is a qualified Collaborative Lawyer and Accredited Family Mediator who works across Lincolnshire dealing with disputes relating to children, divorce and finances. In this blog, Adrian shares his thoughts on Good Divorce Week and steps that can help pave the way to a civilised separation. Good Divorce Week is an annual campaign run by Resolution which focuses on limiting conflict in divorce, separation and beyond. Family relationships have been under immense pressure since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

A trusted professional can play a big part in helping to sort out issues involving the breakdown of your marriage, care of your children, your home and your finances. “Many family lawyers, like myself are Resolution members, who are committed to promoting a constructive approach to family issues that consider the needs of the whole family. All Resolution members have to act in accordance with the Code of Practice which promises to:

• Listen to you, be honest with you and treat you with respect.
• Explain all the options and give you confidence to make the right decisions.
• Help you focus on what’s important in the long-term.
• Help you balance financial and emotional costs with what you want to achieve.
• Work with others to find the right approach and best solutions for you.
• Manage stress in what can already be a stressful situation.

There are also things that you can do to help make your divorce better. Having reflected on my day to day practice, both as a Lawyer and Family Mediator, here are my top five tips for a Good Divorce:

Put the Children First
You have to continue to be parents together long after the divorce is over. It is important for your children that you have a working relationship moving forward. More often than not, children will adjust to change, however f they are exposed to conflict, this may place them at risk of harm. As part of Good Divorce Week, Resolution has launched a free resource – “Parenting through Separation” which is available to download at https://resolution.org.uk/publications-books/parenting-through-separation.

Early Legal Advice
In order to achieve a good divorce – or a less hostile one at least, it is advisable to instruct a Solicitor that understands your objectives and is experienced to help guide you through the process in a way that will relieve your concerns. Law firms who have a specialist family department will be best placed to support your needs and a firm that is a member of Resolution will be following the Code of Practice for a constructive separation.

Consider all options available to you, including mediation and collaborative family law.

Keep Talking
In my experience, couples that fair best when separating are those who manage to maintain communication throughout. When communication breaks down, this is often when problems arise and legal cost and conflict increase.

Be Prepared to Compromise
It is important for both of you to keep an open mind when it comes to separating, particularly when dealing with children and financial matters. Unless you both have exactly the same wishes, then you are likely to need to compromise, negotiate and discuss in order to find a way forward. It is also important not to rush decisions, to take time out if you need to, and seek legal advice.

Build a Support Network
An amicable separation can be tricky to go through, so having emotional support from friends, family, colleagues, or professionals. Do not feel isolated, and talking to people who may have been in a similar position to you may assist.

Get in touch

If you want information about Good Divorce Week – whatever stage you are at, the advice and
experience of a family lawyer can prove invaluable. You can contact Adrian by calling our office on 01472 358686