Photo by Kelly Sikkema

Originally Posted On: https://lifebyrolan.com/8-tips-to-create-a-lasting-happy-long-distance-relationship/

 

The modern world offers plenty of channels to help make your long distance relationship work. Learn nine key tips to creating an LDR that is happy and lasting.

 

When you love somebody, even thousands of miles can’t keep your connection apart.

That isn’t to say being away from each other for extended periods is easy. It takes strong communication, will, and a myriad of other things.

Keep reading to find out 8 essential tips to make your long-distance relationship work.

1. Identify Why this Long-Distance Relationship Works For You

One thing many lovebirds don’t realize is that you shouldn’t hate being long-distance.

Viewing the situation as a negative thing will have rippling, unwanted effects on your relationship and life. It can cause unnecessary misery, suffering, and missed opportunities.

That isn’t to say you can’t miss the person. Rather, you should highlight the benefits and positive aspects of why long-distance works for you two right now.

Perhaps it’s so that you can each accomplish work or school goals or can spend time apart while enjoying your different cultures.

This will allow you both to respect each other’s autonomy and your decisions on not dropping everything in your life to be together.

2. Express Boundaries and Expectations

Setting healthy boundaries is essential for any relationship. Boundary setting includes being:

• Clear about needs and desires
• Self-aware
• Specific as to what you require and direct in communicating that

For some couples, being monogamous is a boundary. This means that even though you’re apart most of the time, you don’t want each other to have other sexual relationships.

Identify what your boundaries and expectations are in the relationship so that you can understand each other, build trust, and respect one another fully.

Think about emotional, sexual, and behavioral things that you want your partner to know about so that you feel loved.

3. Lean On Communication

Long-distance relationships would struggle without mindful digital communication.

This includes deciding how long and how often you want to connect with each other. For some, it’s easy to get in the habit of talking at all waking hours. Unfortunately, this behavior can take a toll on relationships by creating stagnancy and boredom.

Decide together how much you want to talk and schedule daily or weekly times to do so. It can be via texting, phone calls, video calls, pictures, social media, and even snail-mail.

Whatever you choose, be sure to hash out all of the details of your life so that your lover can feel like they know what’s going on. When they are doing the same for you, ask engaging questions and be present when you chat.

4. Have Your Own Life

To keep your independence, make sure to spend time doing the things you love.

This could be spending time on hobbies, friends, family, and so on. It will help you feel more fulfilled and it will give you two more to talk about.

Plus, spending too much time on your phone (talking to your loved one or otherwise) has negative health effects. You can minimize this by spending time away from it, away from talking to your beloved, and by doing things that don’t require technology.

5. Be There For Each Other

When life is exciting or depressing for your partner, be there for them in spirit. Ask them what makes them feel the most supported and be sure to do that at necessary times.

In general, this can mean prioritizing the time you virtually spend together, giving attention to big events, and asking questions about things they’re doing.

It might help to create a shared calendar so that you can know when they have a pressing event at work or in another area of life. Then, you check in with them afterward to give support.

6. Affirm Your Love

Everybody feels love in different ways. For some, physical touch and acts of service are the way they feel love.

In long-distance relationships, you have 3 of the 5 Love Languages to show your beloved that you care. Check-in with your partner to see which forms of love they prefer in your context.

Words of Affirmation

This simply means frequently and verbally expressing that you care, respect, and love your partner. You can do this via text, on the phone, or in whatever way your partner enjoys the most.

Quality Time

Although you can’t spend quality time together in person, you can do it virtually in the following ways:

• Playing games (either on video chat or on a phone app)
• Watching movies at the same time
• Listening to the same albums or music playlists
• Eating similar meals or at the same restaurant
• Reading the same book together

This gives you more relatability and things that you have in common. Plus, they are great ways to bond and spend time together.

Get creative based on what you both enjoy.

Gift Giving

Some people feel loved when they receive gifts because it shows that the person knows who they are and they took the time to pick out something special that they would like.

You can give surprise gifts. Alternatively, you can make online gift shopping for each other an event while you’re on the phone.

Even cards and shipped treats will do the trick.

7. Plan Enough Visits

To relieve the tension that space creates, plan plenty of visits together.

Talk about how often you can travel to see each other and plan out some activities you’ll do when reunited. Spend time hashing out the details and focusing on the good time you’ll have.

Try not to over-plan your visits so that you have room for spontaneity to do new things.

8. Make a Long-Term Plan to Come Together

Being in a long-term relationship shouldn’t be a life-long thing.

You want to have a plan of when you’ll finally come together in a more permanent way. This goal should incorporate your individual passions as well as your shared dream.

Having a set date for your worlds coming together will give both of you something to look forward to and work towards.

When you’re finally in the same vicinity, you may want to plan some time away from each other. This may feel counterintuitive after spending so much time apart. However, it will help keep things fresh in your relationship in the long run.

Have a Happy, Healthy Relationship

With these long-distance relationship tips, you and your partner can enjoy each other to the fullest while you’re apart.

Keep reading our blog for more ways to improve your wellbeing and relationships.